Onyria Palmares Beach & Golf Resort – Midweek Game

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On occasion the Society plays a midweek game if there are anxious golfers looking around for a game. The all new Onyria Palmares Golf Course near Lagos had just opened so it was fitting that we should give it a try. The ‘old’ Palmares was opened in 1975 and was a firm favourite for many golfers over the years as it had some of the best views from any golf course in Portugal and to play down to the Ocean was something special not to mention the scent of orange tree blossom blowing across the course.

The new owners tasked Robert Trent Jones Jr with refreshing a true classic. The first phase sees 18 holes operational this month. The layout is truly impressive though at the moment you have to tolerate that you are in a construction site as the additional nine holes do not come into play till next year. The condition is excellent; it just needs to mature and only time will do that as it did with the old one.

“Onyria Palmares Golf Course is special on so many levels. The expansive ocean views, dramatic elevation changes, quintessential Mediterranean intimate valleys, and expansive dunes land have blessed us with the environment to craft a golf course with an enormous depth of character and challenge’ describes Robert Trent Jones Jr – the Society agrees.

We can’t wait to try the new nine as part of it plays across the railway line that so many of us are familiar with. Glancing down to it from the clubhouse, which itself will be rebuilt, the whole project looks stunning set to a backdrop of a still blue ocean. A warm welcome awaits all that go and visit.

Remember Red Skelton

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For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great ‘one liner’s’ from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more. . . RED SKELTON’S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays..

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..

3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back..

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ she said.
So I suggested the kitchen..

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops..

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said ‘There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!’ So I bought her an electric chair..

7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, ‘In the lake.’..

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off..

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, ‘Am I too late
for the garbage?’ The driver said, ‘No, jump in!’..

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce..

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her
first name was ‘Always’..

12. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don’t like to interrupt her..

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, ‘What’s on the TV?’
I said, ‘Dust!’..

Can’t you just hear him say all of these?
I love it……..these were the good old days when humor didn’t have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words…

‘God Bless’ with a big smile on his face.

A Man Was Riding his Harley…

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A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly
the sky cleared above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord
said,

‘Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will
grant you one wish.’

The biker pulled over and said, ‘Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can
ride over anytime I want.’

The Lord said, ‘Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous
challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching
the bottom of the Pacific; and the concrete and steel it would take! It
will nearly exhaust several natural resources.

I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for such
worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that
could possibly help mankind.’

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, ‘Lord,
I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how
she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the
silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s
wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can
make a woman truly happy.’

The Lord replied, ‘You want two lanes or four lanes on that
bridge?’