A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart
attack!!!
‘Help me dear,’ she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 999/911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter and
lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. ‘I’m dying here and you’re
putting?’
‘Don’t worry dear,’ says the husband calmly, ‘they found a doctor on the second hole and
he’s coming to help you.’
‘Well, how long will it take for him to get here,’ she asks feebly?
‘No time at all,’ says her husband. ‘Everybody’s already agreed to let him play through.’
************************************
A gushy reporter told Phil Michelson, ‘You are spectacular, your name is synonymous
with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What’s your secret?’
Michelson replied, ‘The holes are numbered’
**************************************
A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3, the priest asks, ‘What are
you going to use on this hole my son?’
The young man says, ‘An 8-iron, father. How about you?’
The priest says, ‘I’m going to hit a soft seven and pray. ‘
The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7-iron
and dribbles the ball out a few yards.
The young man says, ‘I don’t know about you father but in my church, when we pray, we
keep our head down.’
***********************************
Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over
a lifeless man.
The detective asks, ‘Ma’am, is that your husband?’
‘Yes’ says the woman.
‘Did you hit him with that golf club?’
‘Yes, yes, I did……..’ The woman begins to sob, drops the club and puts her hands on her
face.
‘How many times did you hit him?’
‘I don’t know….. five.. six… maybe seven times… just put me down for a five.’
**********************************
A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump
of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit
through. Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced
back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, ‘Are you a good golfer?’
The man replied: ‘Got here in two, didn’t I?’
**********************************
The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was
standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said: ‘What are your golf clubs doing here?’
He looked her right in the eye and said, ‘This isn’t going to take all day, is it?’
Vale do Lobo Royal – Weekly Competition
Another wonderful afternoon. Our thank you for Vale do Lobo for the excellent deal to Chez Carlos Golf Society.
A warm welcome for the members: Trevor and Heather Ward and Tony and Lorraine Mullen, who were in need of the sun of Algarve.
We also had some visitors joining our members, making a group of 15 players.
Vale do Lobo Royal proved once again that is a very hard course, where any player should be happy with the result of their game.
The best results went to 3 players all with 33 points. The winners were decided in the back-nines. In first place Jeff Syemour, in second place Heather Ward and in third place Garry King. There were some no return score cards.
Nearst to the pin: the front-nine was on hole 7, with 125 m, where Jeff was the winner, who placed the ball 1,5m from the hole and held the putt for a tasty birdie.
The back-nine was on hole 16 – the famous hole over the cliff – and the winner was Silvya King, being maybe the only one player putting the ball on the green
As usually the presentation was in Chez Carlos restaurant.
Next Saturday, on 19th September, we will have the next game on Laguna golf course at 13:06. There are great expectations, as the course has been closed during 7 months for redesigning and maintenance.
Pinhal – Weekly Competition
A wonderful day at Pinhal Golf Course, 15 players
Nearest to the pin front nine and back nine, first second and third place
We had very good deal – 36 Euros with buggy included
Mike Wareham, who is a long term member, played his last game ending his 4 week holiday in paradise. We also had new guests, playing for the first time in Gary, Melvyn and Sylvia King who said they will be back again at the the next chance possible.
Concerning the golf course condition, the tees and the fairways were in good conditions, but for most of the greens we usually find them in much better state ou conditions.
Due to that reason or not, the scores were real poor for the stableford competition – full handicap. as the winner Frank Brazier (guest) grab the money for 1st prize with only 33 points, followed by Jeff Seymour with 32 and Melvin King (guest) with 30 points. The nearest to the pin front nine, 8th (135m) always a intimidating hole, protected a lake and a deep bunker, was won by Jeff.
On the back-nine we choose the 14th hole (100m) and it was won by Tracy Mcall.
Anyway the beer was nice and cold and a few chips with the famous curry sauce served by Filipe at Chez Carlos Restaurant went very well.
Next weekend, September 5th, most members are involved in a 3 day competition in the Morgado, Álamos and Salgados courses ( ‘Nations Cup’ ) organized by the Golf Algarve magazine,we wish them good luck to maintain the last year Trophy!
and so the Chez Carlos Golf Society will return next September 12th with a course still to be announced.
