Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two ‘working girls’ and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf however, is unable to get an erection.
His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room,he hears his friend shouting out cries of…
‘Here I come again! ONE,TWO, THREE UGH!’
‘Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE… UGH!’
This goes on ALL NIGHT LONG.In the morning, the two met up at breakfast, the second dwarf asks the first, ‘How did it go?’
The first mutters, ‘It was embarrassing. I just couldn’t get an erection.’
The second dwarf shook his head. and said ‘You think that’s embarrassing?
I couldn’t even get on the bed.’
Little Hodaiki
The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said ‘Give me Liberty , or give me Death’?”
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Hodaiki a bright foreign exchange student from Japan , who had his hand up:
‘Patrick Henry, 1775’, he said.
‘Very good!’
Who said, ‘Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?’
Again, no response except from Little Hodaiki: ‘Abraham Lincoln, 1863’.
‘Excellent!’ said the teacher continuing, ‘let’s try one a bit more difficult…’
Who said, ‘Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?’
Once again, Hodaiki’s was the only hand in the air and he said:
‘John F. Kennedy, 1961’.
The teacher snapped at the class, ‘Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves, little Hodaiki isn’t from this country and he knows more about our history than you do.’
She heard a loud whisper: ‘F . . . k the Japs,’
‘Who said that? I want to know right now!’ she angrily demanded.
Little Hodaiki put his hand up, ‘General MacArthur, 1945.’
At that point, a student in the back said, ‘I’m gonna puke.’
The teacher glared around and asks, ‘All right! Now who said that!?’
Again, Little Hodaiki said, ‘George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.’
Now furious, another student yelled, ‘Oh yeah? Suck this!’
Little Hodaiki jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouted to the teacher, ‘Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky 1997!’
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, ‘You little shit. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.’
Little Hodaiki frantically yelled at the top of his voice:
‘Michael Jackson to the child witness testifying against him, 2004.’
The teacher fainted.
As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, “Oh shit, we’re f**ked!”
Little Hodaiki said quietly, “Bob Diamond, Barclays Bank, 2012.”
Oceânico Millennium – Saturday, 11th August 2012 – Weekly Competition
Today’s event was switched to Millennium as reports indicated Pinhal was not in the best of condition. It was one of the hottest days of the year with temperatures soaring into the mid 40’s. Nevertheless fourteen players were keen to take on the course under the blazing sun. It was also an opportunity to try out the new Chez Carlos Catmandoo polo shirts. They performed admirably and look great too!
The course was presented very well with some tight front pin positions. It was a day of strong scoring with 10 of the 14 players scoring in the 30’s. Good performances on the back nine though this is probably the easier of the two. Afterwards it was back to Parkies Bar for some well earned liquid refreshments and chicken n’ ribs.
1st: Anne Campbell (h/cap 21): 38pts (b/9:23pts)
2nd: Eve Koch (h/cap 19): 38pts (b/9:22pts)
3rd : Chris Cooper (h/cap 5): 35pts (b/9: 18pts)
Nearest The Pin
15th: Simon D Turner
